One of my favorite topics of research is the mere exposure effect, which suggests that the more we are exposed to someone, the more we like them. We watched this phenomenon unfold throughout the election as the most outspoken candidate consumed a disproportionate amount of airtime, social media presence and space in our conversations. Per this effect, not only did this exposure increase likability by his followers but it also increased the tolerance level of undecided voters. Everyone just got used to it, to such a degree that certain behaviors conservatives called "treasonous" just a few years ago now elicited a complacent eye roll and shoulder shrug.
You don’t have to be a genius to understand the intuitive concept of the mere exposure effect, but you do have to give it some thought in order to counterbalance its negative effects. When we perceive that someone is getting too much attention we tend to respond by complaining about it, thereby giving him even more. However, the best way to counterbalance the effects of mere exposure is to redirect the focus on something else. That’s what you did by joining the Women’s March last weekend, right?
Across the nation and even the world we witnessed people of all ages, sizes, abilities and backgrounds re-appropriating former female insults like the total badasses we are. I saw an elderly white lady carrying a sign that said “My Pussy Grabs Back” and a white mother with toddlers in tow rocking her sign “Bitches Get Shit Done.” I saw countless women shouting it loud and proud: “I'm a nasty woman who gets shit done and whose pussy grabs back.” Good job, ladies!
Since the mission of the Women’s March was all inclusive, we also saw more general signs expressing sentiments such as Human Rights and Love Fights Back. When the chants started we all enthusiastically shouted together, “A People! United! Will Never Be Divided!”
And yet.
While marching in my relatively homogenous hometown I noticed that a particular chant took longer to catch on in the crowd and then died off more quickly. Can you guess which one it was?
Black. Lives. Matter.
You also may have noticed that very few white people have been uttering (let alone shouting) “Black Lives Matter” since the movement was founded by Patrisse Cullors, Opal Tometi and Alicia Garza back in 2013. My question to you is this: Why not?
Communities of color would really like to know.
White feminism has been the target of criticism by black and brown communities from the get go, and rightly so. If you were marching in a larger city like L.A. or D.C. you may have noticed our black and brown brothers and sisters trying to call attention to the irony with signs like these:
(“I’ll see you nice white ladies at the next #blacklivesmatter march, right?”
Read more about this poster here.)
Read more about this poster here.)
Ouch.
White people, I applaud you for marching. I applaud the fight in you. Now that you’re paying attention, I am directly, explicitly and without hesitation asking you to stop being a hypocrite.
What I want to know is, will you march when you are alone, when there is no crowd? It was so easy for us to rally last weekend amongst like minded allies. Power in numbers made us even more convicted in our beliefs, in our mission. But outside of the contagion of the march will you easily say in regular daily conversations: “I stand against anti-Arab American racism and Islamophobia?” Will you stick a sign on your car that says: “Immigrants are Welcome Here?” Will the next phone case you purchase have a Gay Pride rainbow on it? Will you sport a Black Lives Matter T-shirt every Friday?
I know this is going to sting... but I’m just going to say it: Our marginalized brothers and sisters don’t want your damn safety pins. They want you to march alone, when it matters, and when it’s hard.
I’m not blaming you, so please check your white fragility at the door. Quite the opposite: I see in us, white friends, an enormous passion and dedication for social change. I see that this election has woken us from a blissful slumber and we want to do more. We are armed and dangerous now, but we don’t always know exactly what to do, and in these situations we often blow it. Let’s not blow it this time. OKAY?
As you may know, February is Black History Month. In addition to learning about important history let’s also make it our mission in February to learn more about the fight that’s going on right now at a time when we can actually do something. I know you are all fired up to do more, so here you go:
- Read the entire Black Lives Matter Webpage to familiarize yourself with their mission. This will take 20 minutes or less.
- Get ready to participate in Wear Out the Silence by purchasing a Black Lives Matter t-shirt. “Wear Out the Silence is a campaign asking white people to wear Black Lives Matter t-shirts every Friday as a way for us to bring the racial justice conversation deeper into our daily lives.” Important: Only buy BLM gear from black owned businesses (Ask if it’s black owned before you buy or use this short list of black owned online shops). This will take 10 minutes or less.
I know what you’re thinking.“Can I really make social change by wearing a t-shirt?”
Back to the mere exposure effect. Like anything else, a movement needs exposure and not just on marching day. To really catch on the exposure should come from people who may not directly benefit from the movement; it needs endorsement from people its critics may not expect. Every time I wear one of my Black Lives Matter t-shirts a white person engages me in conversation about it. This is movement. Of course, this is not all you need to be doing. But you need to be doing this.
Back to the mere exposure effect. Like anything else, a movement needs exposure and not just on marching day. To really catch on the exposure should come from people who may not directly benefit from the movement; it needs endorsement from people its critics may not expect. Every time I wear one of my Black Lives Matter t-shirts a white person engages me in conversation about it. This is movement. Of course, this is not all you need to be doing. But you need to be doing this.
Our mission is clear: Break the taboo associated with shouting Black Lives Matter in white circles. Say it loud, say it proud, and normalize it within white communities. Make it such a regular part of the overall fight for social justice that white people who shout “My body, my choice!” and “Marriage equality!” will suddenly see that not adding “Black Lives Matter!” with equal fierceness is nothing short of… racist.
Important Warning: This is not a trend. I’m not asking you to make BLM gear in fashion and then quickly forget about it once another idea comes along. We need to make this movement part of our ethos, which requires that we know what we are talking about. Please read the entire BLM website, especially their About BLM page, and practice talking about these issues before you hit the streets in your gear.
I am certain that if you get educated on the Black Lives Matter mission you will unabashedly support it. I am also certain that once you support it, it will become contagious in our white communities and the movement will benefit from mere exposure.
I’m only asking you to do two things today that will take 30 minutes, far less time and energy than you dedicated to your march. I’m asking you to march alone today, without the crowd. Will you?
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