Topic #24: Being New to a Group

Most accomplished adults aren’t very good at being totally new to something. This was true for me when I found myself in the brand new context of learning about community organizing. It ended up taking me quite some time to unlearn things I thought I knew, and I often wish someone had given me a guidebook to make the process less painful. Now I understand why no one has written that guidebook: Because anyone with experience knows they are still learning and they are never done. As someone who was once new (and who recognizes that everyone was once new!) I have a visceral empathy for people who are about to learn how hard it can be. If you are new to an organizing group I'd like to humbly offer the following tips that might help to make you feel more welcome, successful, and effective.

When you first join an existing group do not assume you have the answers (yet) and accept that your suggestions may not be welcome (yet).

Imagine a college classroom where a new class member enters at mid-semester, and on the first day starts raising his or her hand to offer suggestions to the teacher and the class. Few adults would do this, but this is a common tendency for new people. Particularly if you are a member of one or more dominant social identity groups (like male and/or white, and/or owning class, etc.) it’s likely that you have been trained to contribute, share your opinion, and offer suggestions in group settings. In fact, this may be a skill that has led to your success thus far in life. However, if you are new to a group, it's best to lead with the assumption that those who have been in this group for a long time have already thought of and probably tried most of the suggestions and advice you have. Dedicate a few months to processing, getting up to speed, and listening to others who have much to share. Here are some common missteps that stem from our tendency to want to jump right in and problem-solve, using the example of racial justice organizing.

Lack of preparedness will generate low trust.

You wouldn’t enter into an interview without having looked at the job description, and you will likely not be trusted if you enter into an organizing group expecting to help without having done a little research. New people come and go all the time, and they often consume large amounts of energy from the group before disappearing never to be seen again. Because of this, consistent group members will be skeptical if you express commitment but don’t show it by being prepared. If you are sincere about being involved (as opposed to just checking it out) don’t expect others hard at work to spend valuable time explaining things you can easily find on your own, like the background and mission of the group. For example, here are Showing Up for Racial Justice’s background, mission and values, easily found in an internet search.

Show a commitment to self-education if you expect to have a voice.

Using the classroom analogy shared earlier, you wouldn’t enter into a class and ask a dedicated student to explain the assigned reading to you because you didn’t have time to do it. There is an abundance of resources that others have taken the time to write, compile, and advertise for you. Now it’s your turn to do your own work and read them. Folks who have been working for a particular cause have read the seminal texts that inform our work, and those who want to participate are expected to read them, too. You don’t need to read all of these before you begin participating, but we should always be reading something alongside our activism. If you want to get involved in racial justice, for example, here is a running list of anti-racism resources to dive into.

We need everyone involved in order to make social change. If you are feeling unwelcome or ineffective, don’t give up! Bailing out when things get uncomfortable is a common tendency of people in dominant or privileged groups because we have the luxury of saying, “this isn’t for me.” Resist the temptation to give up and if you feel stuck, remember...

 

Topic #23: White Allyship 101: It’s a Process, Not an Identity

“It’s the responsibility of Whites interested in ending racism to sacrifice their comfort, ask questions, and take cues and orders from Black people [and other people of color or marginalized groups] without relying on us to show you and tell you how.” (Collier Meyerson)

Many folks interested in anti-racist activism want to do more but are concerned about "doing it wrong." This is a legitimate concern, and even shows a great amount of awareness from aspiring *white allies that they should tread carefully if they don't want to make race relations worse. In fact, folks who aren't concerned and contemplative about the tendencies for white people to misstep during anti-racist activism are really the ones to worry about! So, you're in the right place. The following list of Dos and Don'ts for aspiring white allies interested in racial justice is not meant to be comprehensive or definitive, but rather a conversation starter from which we can be motivated to learn even more. This list is for people interested in doing more and doing it better. Please continue to seek out additional information on this topic as part of fulfilling the first item, below!

DOs FOR PEOPLE STRIVING TO BE WHITE ALLIES

Self Work

Take responsibility for your own education. Do read links/books referenced in articles and discussions by people of color, and seek out your own resources for learning. It is not the job of marginalized groups to provide the information you need. “Do your own heavy lifting” when it comes to your anti-racism education. (Karnythia)

Think deeply about your motives. “If you’re doing work as an ally as a means of earning capital to counterbalance your White guilt or as a way of seeking accolades for how not racist you are, stop taking up space at the table.” (Clodfelter). “I think a White person can only be a true ally if she works from the desire to dismantle White supremacy instead of merely being fueled by White guilt.” (Katrina L. Rogers)

Eliminate allegiance to "colorblindness." One of the greatest barriers in dismantling racism is white people's insistence that "we all bleed the same color." Insisting on a colorblind approach to the world is a privilege only white people have, and is a blissfully ignorant and dangerously ineffective way of addressing racism. Racism exists, it has a real impact and severe consequences for people of color, and suggesting that you as an individual "don't see race" not only discounts the unique and positive things about other cultures, races, and ethnicities, but also attempts to minimize the reality of race-based prejudice and discrimination that are a daily part of the lives of most people of color in the United States.

Working With Communities of Color

Listen.  When collaborating with marginalized communities be aware of when you are taking up “space” with your words and ideas.  Err on the side of caution by keeping your comments brief and to the point, and make sure you are not asking to speak more frequently than others. “There is nothing more obnoxious than someone (however well intentioned) coming into the spaces of a marginalized group and insisting that they have the solution even though they’ve never had [the actual] experience. You can certainly make suggestions, but don’t be surprised if those ideas aren’t well received.” (Karnythia)

Hear criticism, and apologize. You will use the wrong terms, you will make erroneous assumptions. Apologize and then make a change without needing to fully understand or agree with why. “You’re going to get things wrong. Because no one is perfect. But part of being an ally is being willing to hear that you’re doing it wrong.” (Karnythia)

Eliminate white tears. “White tears” is a term used to describe our tendencies to refocus discussions about race toward addressing our white feelings and responses. For example, expressing that you feel “attacked” or “unsafe” in race discussions is shedding white tears. Expressing guilt or apologies about white privilege to people of color is another manifestation of white tears. Process your feelings about racism yourself, and with white friends, but do not put the burden of your emotions on people of color unless you have specifically been asked to do so.

Donate. Since racism results in unequal access to both education and the jobs resulting from that education, being born white means you experience fewer barriers to wealth than does a Person of Color, even if you are a woman, came from a poor white family, or have other traits that you believe have caused a disadvantage. If you claim to be interested in a more fair distribution of resources, you need to be regularly donating money to organizations led by people of color and causes that are making progress in this area on a large-scale level. Do some research to find out which ones are most effective. If you don’t have time to do the research right now, just click here to set up a recurring monthly donation to these two organizations: The Movement for Black Lives and the Southern Poverty Law Center.

Working Within Your Race Group

Be vocal within your race group. “Do be willing to stand up to bigots. Even if all you do is tell a friend that the thing they just said about X marginalized group is unacceptable, you’re doing some of the actual work of being an ally” (Karnythia). Expect to have difficult conversations regularly with people you care about, with strangers, and with people you don’t even like. Avoid the temptation to cut ties with people who are not like-minded. These are the exact people we need to engage with and try to reach. Be mindful about the fact that shame and blame are not effective in changing minds. If the goal is to be effective, come from a place of respect and curiosity, while being unwavering in your commitment to speaking up.

Give credit to original sources. Throughout history white people have consistently plagiarized people of color across every topic whether it be science, literature, music, or even cooking. We did not invent this movement, so please do your best to properly acknowledge the people who did when you are seeking ideas to cite and share. Cite people of color as often as possible to counterbalance the disproportionate number of white voices being credited, cited, read and heard.

DON’Ts FOR PEOPLE STRIVING TO BE WHITE ALLIES

Don’t confuse "doing no harm" with "doing the right thing." It is not enough to be a non-racist. You must be an active anti-racist or you are part of the problem. White people are organizing and acting to promote racism, so if you are a not organizing and acting to fight racism then you are neutral about racism, not against racism.

Don’t strive to prove you’re an ally. Resist the temptation to try and create credibility by mentioning your diverse group of friends or people of color with whom you have relationships. Instead of trying to prove your allyship to others, just keep showing up and doing the work.

Don’t think that claiming you are a white ally makes you one. “Ally” isn’t a label you can take on. It’s a process that takes work every day. And don’t expect people of color to care if you consider yourself an ally (see safety pin issue). Just do the work!

Don’t try and use the ally card. Sometimes you will not be invited into particular spaces, and that’s okay. “Your privilege didn’t fall away when you became an ally, and there are intra-community conversations that need to take place away from the gaze of the privileged.” (Karnythia)

Don’t say you understand how someone feels when you couldn’t possibly. When listening to someone else’s struggle, don’t make comparisons to your own challenges as, for example, as a woman in a sexist world. Trying to relate instead of just listening can be very invalidating to the other.

Don’t make it about you. See all of the above.

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*Choosing not to capitalize "white" and "people of color" is intentional. The debate about whether or not to do so is unsettled, leaving it up to the stylistic and philosophical choice of the author. I leave all quotes intact to maintain their author's preference, but I choose not to capitalize race labels because I believe doing so perpetuates the legitimacy and authority of socially constructed race labels that were created as tools for oppression.

References:

This working list is curated, in part, from some of the following sources: http://theangryblackwoman.com/2009/10/01/the-dos-and-donts-of-being-a-good-ally/

http://notesfromaWhiteally.blogspot.com/2016/05/topic-3-fear-discomfort-and-diving-in.html

http://www.salon.com/2016/07/08/how_to_be_a_White_ally_fighting_racism_is_your_responsibility_start_now

http://fusion.net/story/329680/black-lives-matter-White-allies/

Topic #22: The Revolution Will Be Intersectional.

Check out this short speech on the importance of an intersectional approach to social justice, delivered at the Pacific Pride Rally, March, and Festival on August 26, 2017. Enjoy!

Topic #21: "WHAT CAN I DO?" So glad you asked.

The Charlottesville hate rally and its aftermath have ignited new interest from white people around fighting white supremacy. If you are a white person new to anti-racist activism, or you aren't quite there yet but you want to know more (like why I'm not capitalizing 'white'), here are the resources I recommend to help you gain a better understanding of this most recent tragedy and the overarching issue of racism in America. These hyperlinked items are just a starting point:

Read:

Events Surrounding White Nationalist Rally In Virginia Turn Fatal -NPR News Coverage

Charlottesville and the Bigotocracy -By Michael Eric Dyson, NY Times

When Does a Fringe Movement Stop Being Fringe? -By Vann R. Newkirk II, The Atlantic

You’re Sickened? Great. Now What? -By Summer McLane, Huffington Post

What Black Lives Matter Organizers Are Doing To Fight White Supremacy At Every Level - By Shanelle Matthews

If you are seeking a user-friendly and short book directed at people new to racial justice, or those seeking to articulate complex ideas and understand the links between all social justice issues, this is an excellent option: Is Everyone Really Equal? An Introduction to Key Concepts in Social Justice Education (2017) - by Ozlem Sensoy & Robin DiAngelo 

You can also start to explore this longer list of Anti-Racism Resources.

Watch: 
Here is my speech from Sunday's Solidarity Rally to help clarify your role. 

Follow:
Liking anti-racist groups on Facebook is a great way to add this important topic to your daily newsfeed (don't forget to select "see first" from the Following options after you "like" their page, so you get everything):
White People Challenging Racism
White Nonsense Roundup
Showing Up for Racial Justice

Use Your Resources:
Donate to Black Lives Matter Charlottesville, to invest in their long term work resisting white supremacy. Find your local chapter and donate there, too.
Sign up to make a monthly donation to Southern Poverty Law Center’s sustained work against racism. May I recommend $25/month? Let's be honest- you won't miss it.

Join:

Anti-racism organizations are committed to long term work toward racial justice. Become an active member. I recommend Showing Up for Racial Justice for white people who are new to this work. Find your local chapter here.

  
If you are a really good and progressive person, but you just aren't sure this is for you, please read my previous blog entry, here, and if you have an hour to dedicate (which you do), start from the beginning of my Anti-Racism Blog as a good starting place for catching up.

If you are ready to consider joining the fight against white supremacy and working toward racial justice, you are needed and welcome. Now get to work!   

Topic #20: Do You Have Passive Progressive Disorder? A Checklist for Self-Diagnosis

Are you having trouble sleeping at night? Do you experience a constant nagging feeling that something just isn't right? It's possible that you may be suffering from an affliction spreading like wildfire across specific regions of the United States: Passive Progressive Disorder (PPD). PPD sufferers self-identify as liberal and progressive, while only exerting mild, if any, effort toward acting on these values in everyday life. PPD works in direct opposition to social change by deluding its sufferers into believing they are doing something because of the way they feel about issues, when in reality they are doing nothing, or at least not enough to make any real impact. Sufferers are especially unwilling to perform any of the obligations of their progressive identity that cause them discomfort. 

If you have concerns about your pre-disposition to this increasingly common disorder, you can use this Checklist for Passive Progressive Disorder as a tool to help you self diagnose.

You are likely suffering from Passive Progressive Disorder if you agree with half or more of the following statements:

1. I don't know what Juneteenth is, and/or I don't think it is significant enough to be celebrating it today (evidenced by the fact that I am not celebrating it). 
2. I donate money to a specific cause, or a variety of causes, and do not choose to donate money to a racial justice organization led by people of color, or an organization that researches and reports on racial inequity (which is an indicator of the causes I believe are most important). 
3. I voted for Bernie or Hillary and I often remind people of this fact, as if voting absolves me from performing other regular actions for social justice.
4. I am not aware of the platform and demands created by the Movement for Black Lives. I don't know the difference between Black Lives Matter and The Movement for Black Lives and I haven't developed a response to #AllLivesMatter, even though I strongly disagree with those who say it. 
5. I watch movies like Selma and actually believe (and may even say out loud) that if I had been around during the Civil Rights Movement I would have been playing an active role in anti-racism, and yet I am not currently engaged in anti-racist activism. 
6. I think I know a good amount about racism and privilege so I don't prioritize deepening my own anti-racism and white privilege education.
7. I checked off my cultural education/awareness box by taking one elective course in college. Or two. When asked about my cultural awareness or education about race and ethnicity I refer to these courses I took, even if they were a decade or more ago.
8. I don't actively attempt to diversify my social or professional circles, and use excuses like "I just don't know any people of color," or "There aren't any people of color around me that I could get to know."
9. My kids do not know the names of any historical black or brown Americans except Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King, Jr. and Cesar Chavez. 
10. I can explain the role Abraham Lincoln played in ending slavery, but not the role played by Frederick Douglass, without looking it up. Same for my kids.
11. I actually believe (and may even say out loud), that I do not have implicit biases against people of color, despite the mountains of research showing that we all, including people of color, have race-based biases because racism is embedded in our cultural practices, policies, institutions, language, and the very air we breathe (or water we drink).
12. I easily share complaints about the 45th president, his administration, or other injustices for which I want action and accountability, but I tolerate the murder of people of color by police by saying nothing.
13. I choose not to share stories about racism on my own social media page in order to protect my own, or my friends' and family members' white fragility.
14. I may claim that I do nothing about race-based oppression because I don't know what to do.
15. I am pretty comfortable complaining openly about anything political but I hesitate to openly and regularly complain about racial injustice with equal frequency and passion. 
16. I believe that by not personally engaging in race-based discrimination and prejudice I am doing my part to fight racism.
17. I can't define systemic racism and give three clear examples, including data.
18. I haven't thought deeply about the fact that expressing anger and tears about incidents of racial injustice could be offensive to people of color, especially if my emotions are not paired with action.
19. I thought of excuses while reading this list, like "Well, I don't even use Facebook," or "My kids also know about Sojourner Truth," instead of considering which parts of the list might apply to me and how I could do better.
20. I think this list is unnecessary, aggressive, patronizing, or otherwise annoying (even if I can't put my finger on what about it I dislike so much). It's more important for me to dislike the author or the message than to confront my own role in perpetuating our undeniably racist society.

This list is non-exhaustive and will be updated as I continue my own anti-racism education. I hope you'll join me. If you're eager to get started with treatment for this condition, please start here and here.

Topic #19: Power in Words: An Anti-Racism Personal Mission Statement

I commit to the following in my work toward justice and dignity for all people:

I will never collude with any white person in maintaining white supremacy.

I will ask white people to question their perception of the world.

I will shine a spotlight on historical inaccuracies and correct them.

I will seek out counter narratives.

I will not be silenced by my own imposter syndrome.

I will not allow my own comfort to persuade against my growth.

I will embrace the changes that come with living consciously.

I will not be silenced by my fear of people's reactions.

I will tell the truth even if it means losing my friends.

I will strive to be a white anti-racist role model to others.

I will engage in racism conversations from a place of love.

I will participate in the elimination of racism by any means possible.

My commitment to justice and dignity for all people will be fierce.


Today marks the one year anniversary of the drafting of my original Anti-Racism Mission Statement. In the spirit of accountability I thought it would be a good exercise to mark my continued commitment by posting my statement on the web. The ideas on this statement were collected from various sources I've studied during my self-education on whiteness, privilege, and white supremacy. I don't believe I have used anyone else's exact words, but if I have please contact me so that I can give credit. If you are a fellow anti-racist, please feel free to paraphrase my words or adopt them verbatim, as long as it helps you to articulate and fulfill our common mission. I encourage all aspiring allies to create a mission statement, as there is immense power in putting thoughts on paper and even greater power in sharing them with others.

Topic #18: A Must Read For White People Who Have A Black Friend (and also those who don't)

This poem was published in Dismantling White Privilege, Volume III, Issue 1, June 2013

A poem for my white friends, by Norma Johnson

I Didn’t Tell You

I didn’t tell you about my real life

The one that haunts me most days

It comes in moments at a time

Triggered by a look,

an attitude,

a sensing of superiority,

of blatant ignorance,

of good meaning intention

dripping crap down my face.

I didn’t tell you about the look they gave me when I opened my door and they saw black me standing there, their mouths agape, their thoughts running loudly through my head.

I didn’t tell you about being followed through the store and how I obediently kept my hands and my bag in plain sight.

I didn’t tell you how quickly they look away when I catch them staring at me in the restaurant and
standing in the supermarket line.

I didn’t tell you how the clerk pretended the white woman had been standing at the counter before I had and waited on her first.

I didn’t tell you how I have to take a really deep long breath every time before I walk into a room full of white people.

I didn’t tell you that in the meeting, the classroom, and the workshop, when the subject of diversity
comes up, they all look at me as if I am the spokesperson for the whole nation of people of color.

I didn’t tell you that when diversity isn’t mentioned and needs to be, I’m too often the one who has to point it out.

I didn’t tell you how many times white people say to me in one way or another, “you’re different,”
because they felt comfortable with me and that didn’t fit their mold of what they figured a black
person was like.

I didn’t tell you how disappointed that white man was, when after eagerly questioning me, found out that I was not the exotic nubian he had fantasized, but just another negro girl from new jersey.

I didn’t tell you about the white woman, a stranger who chose out of all the white people around us, to sit next to me and proceed to tell me all about her favorite black performers and her black friends and how this country needs to take integration to the next level so I could see how her life is an example of that.

I didn’t tell you about the anger I stuffed down when that dreadlocked young white boy gave me a high five and called me “sister.”

I didn’t tell you about the white woman I passed at twilight in the park, who tensed her body, tightened her grip on her purse and walked a large curved detour past me.

I didn’t tell you that my stomach clenches when I see a police car because it means I may
not…be…safe.

I didn’t tell you that your world is not mine and that we are virtual worlds apart.

I didn’t tell you that while you can somehow think of yourself as multi-ethnically expansive because you have a black friend, I meanwhile just still… stay… black.

I didn’t tell you that while you can walk boldly into any place you choose, I always have to consider
where I am, who I’m with, and how I’m going to affect people.

I didn’t tell you how your liberalism chokes me sometimes as you sit in judgment of someone you don’t even know.

I didn’t tell you that being a good person and being clueless can come in the same package.

I didn’t tell you about the comments you made that would take a lifetime of explaining how you’ve
bought into the system that keeps us ALL, …in…our…place.

I didn’t tell you about my day because I had been taught not to.
And you have been taught not to even consider it.

I didn’t tell you about my day because then I would have to live it all over again …
And I have to save that… for tomorrow